If you want an ex-spouse, buy a red sports car

A long time ago, I was young, stupid and sick of driving my beat up car.  So I got a bank loan for more that it would have cost me to buy a house plot and bought a flashy red sports car. Two months later I caught the eye of a beautiful woman, one year later we were married but before I knew it, we were divorced.
A while later, after selling my successful business, I once again bought a red sports car.  This time, there was no bank loan, but it did have a really cool automatic folding roof.   Two months later I caught the eye of a beautiful woman, one year later we were married but before I knew it, we were divorced.  No, there’s no echo in here.
The problem was neither of these women met and married the real me.  Though I fooled even myself, the sports car driving, designer clothes wearing, champagne drinking, ambition fuelled, successful businessman wasn’t the real me.  The real me, unintentionally hidden at those critical moments of my life, craved (and still craves) simplicity, spiritual growth, financial independence and a life with purpose.
On the surface it’s easy to see that if you’re pretending (perhaps even subconsciously) that you’re someone you’re not, then anyone attracted to you is not really attracted to you but to the person you’re pretending to be.  If the real you ever emerges, then chances are, that person isn’t going to be attracted to you anymore, especially if the real you is very different from the pretend you.  If you want someone to be attracted to the real you, then you have to be courageous and honest enough (especially to yourself) to reveal the real you.  And herein lies the challenge.  Knowing and revealing the real you may sound very simple, but I think it can be one of the most difficult things for a person to do.
So, for now, that is part of my journey, to discover and reveal the real me.  The me who is defined not by my car but by my faith,  judged not but the cut of my clothes but by the cut of my character.  As I don’t even own a car now, I can’t imagine anyone being attracted to me for my ride.  But then again I do own a really nice pair of minimalist running shoes.

Costumes, Masks and Pyjamas

At this time of year as you see kids putting on costumes and masks for halloween,  I thought about the costumes we put on in life.  Once upon a time, I would don my corporate costume –  designer suit, silk tie, tailored shirt (complete with cufflinks) and polished calf leather shoes – and head off at 6am to a job that I hated.  The cost of those clothes was more than I spend now for everything for an entire month.  My true preference in clothes was much more modest; the days that I worked from home I would dress in my favourite comfortable shorts and t-shirt, but of course that outfit would be unacceptable in the office.
We do the same throughout our life.  Instead of ‘dressing’ in the clothes, values and lifestyle with which we would be truthfully comfortable, we don the ‘costumes and masks’ that are most acceptable to the world – career ladder climber, pension saver, homeowner, people user, stuff collector.  I find it intriguing to encounter people who ‘dress’ differently.  To explore what makes these people courageous enough (or crazy enough) to wear pyjamas to the office.

Who do I want to impress?

I’ve just finished reading the biography of Steve Jobs; an amazing story. Each of us wants our life to count for something. We are told from an early age to ‘be somebody’. Some of us have great aspirations for the world stage – build a great company, win a gold medal, be elected President, set a world record. For others, the aspirations are smaller in scope – get a college degree, own a house, win a beauty contest. All of these ‘be somebody’ aspirations imply being admired and celebrated by others. We can’t really be ‘somebody’ if we impress nobody.

But I wonder if impressing other people really matters. Maybe we should turn our eyes to heaven. With the things that they’ve experienced, I can’t imagine the angels of God are too easily impressed. What if our life could reflect God’s goodness in a way that was so honest, so consistent, so gentle, so loving, that someone who encountered us said “I want some of that” and turned to God? What if our life led to the angels of heaven throwing a party? Now that would be a real accomplishment.

the angels of God rejoice over one sinner who repents – Luke 15:10

Experience the Beauty


Experience the Beauty

Yesterday I went to a photo exhibition and was drawn to a set of beautiful images of simple things like a leaf floating in a puddle or a feather caught in a branch (much like the image I’ve reblogged above).  It got me thinking about how we continually encounter yet don’t register beautiful things in our life. And about how we really take for granted the senses that enable us to experience this beauty.  If I knew that tomorrow an accident would cause me to lose my sight, I would spend today absorbing every wondrous sight I could.  Or if that accident would cause me to lose my hearing, I would be listening to every birdcall or dog’s bark.  So tomorrow when your alarm clock wakes you, give thanks that you can hear and when you open your eyes, give thanks that you can see.

B&B lifestyle

I’ve just spent the last ten days in a Bed & Breakfast and will be here for another ten before moving on.  This is a radical change from both my recent Camino life of a different bed every night as well as my life a few months ago in a four bedroom house.  This lifestyle creates a difference in the way I interact with the world around me.  I am using public spaces (coffee houses, parks, library, etc) for relaxation and work, even finding that I’m developing a favourite seat or spot much like I would have had my favourite chair at home.  It’s also now two months since I sold my car, relying on walking or public transport.  Not having a kitchen forces me to think of my food needs in daily terms and to keep it simple. I’m finding two distinct changes occurring with me.  My normal thought timeframe is dropping from weeks or months down to days – grounding me more in the moment. And I’m becoming more observant of and interactive with the people around me.  So far, so good.




As I celebrate three years of simplicity, I look back and remember the hundreds of blogs and sites that I read. To celebrate, here are the top 5 links that inspired and helped me when I was starting. These are amazing people who practice what they preach. Simplicity turns them on!

1. zenhabits – Leo Babauta was the first minimalist I encountered on the web. Start with the Beginner’s Guide to his site. Leo also has another blog called mnmal which focuses more on minimalism. Check him out at simple links here on Tumblr. If you want an e-book, I read his e-book Focus and Simple Guide To A Minimalist Life.

2. becoming minimalist – One of my favorites then (until now) is Joshua Becker. I like his writing style and topics. He has inspired me to be a great minimalist husband and dad. I highly recommend you subscribe to his newsletter (I do). You can also follow Joshua here on Tumblr at substance over stuff (I do). 

3. far beyond the stars (archive) – I learned a lot from Ev Bogue when he used to write primarily about minimalism. So I’m sharing with you the link to his old site. Start with his October 2009 posts.

4. the value of voluntary simplicity – Richard B. Gregg wrote this mind opening piece in 1936. This has had a great impact on my philosophy about simplifying / minimalism. 15 pages only. By the way, I learned about Gregg when I read Voluntary Simplicity.

5. laws of simplicity – John Maeda is a graphic designer, computer scientist, university professor and author. He wrote the book ‘Laws of Simplicity’ which also had a great impact on how I simplified things. Here’s a video of John on the simple life.

How about you? Which online resources focused on simplicity and minimalism have turned you on? Write me 🙂

Simplicity turns me on,


Living in Faith or Fear

These twelve Jesus sent out … no bag for the journey or extra shirt or sandals or a staff. Matthew 10:10

As I pack and repack my rucksack, debating the necessity of every item for my Camino, I think about how we evaluate the necessity of stuff for the journey of life.  I read somewhere that we pack out of fear.  I’m afraid of blisters so I pack lots of plasters.  It might rain so I have a rain jacket and waterproof over-trousers.  One extra shirt will do but two will be better.

Life is the same.  We’re afraid of being homeless, so we aspire to buy our own house.  Three bedrooms will do but what about guests; should have a guest room or better yet two, in case they bring their kids?  £10,000 in the bank is a good cushion but £20,00 is better. Ten pairs of shoes will do but twenty pairs are better.  Out of fear, we seek security in our possessions, our money, our job, our abilities.  But what if those very things distance us from our only true security – our faith in God. Are these false idols that draw our attention from our loving Father, the Creator of the Universe?  Do we live a life of faith or a life of fear?

So as I repack for what seems like the hundredth time, I’ve decided to add a small bottle of hand wash (because I’m afraid catching a stomach bug).  But, I’m leaving behind my expensive, waterproof over-trousers because I have faith that the rain will be warm and my quick-dry shorts and skinny legs will be just fine.

From 4 bed house to B&B

Two days ago I completed the sale of my house, picked up my rucksack and walked to the Bed and Breakfast where I’ll stay for ten days before leaving to walk the Camino de Santiago. I walked because last week I sold my car. Only a rucksack because I’ve spent the last month selling and giving away everything else I own. What a feeling of lightness! Having sold my house with my ensuite bathroom, I’m now getting used to sharing a bathroom with another guest as I prepare myself to share bedrooms and bathrooms with up to fifty other pilgrims each night. But it’s not too bad. I’m being well looked after by a sweet elderly landlady who prepares fresh fruit salad, warm croissants, and fresh ground coffee for breakfast. Life is Good!

Simplifying my books

As far back as I can remember I have loved books.  As a child, if I received a book as a present, I would beg my parents to let me stay home from school so I could read my new book.

In the past five years, I’ve moved house seven times and changed countries twice.  Each time I’ve transported boxes upon boxes of books.  With a house move in prospect again in a few months, I decided this time, I’m moving without my books.

A year ago I stopped buying physical books and restricted my purchases to digital books available on Amazon Kindle.  But still, over the years I accumulated over a hundred physical books and at a glance could see the phases of my life reflected in my book collection. So giving up my physical books was never going to be an easy process.

To make it a little easier to bear, I broke it into three phases over several weeks. Phase one was taking the 60% of my collection that I wasn’t really,really attached to and giving them to charity shops.  Phase two was taking the 30% that I really wished I could keep and giving them to my local library; this way I can visit them if I really want.  Over the next two weeks I will be having a final read of my most treasured books and then phase three will be giving them to my library. Phase three will be difficult but I cling to one little security blanket; all but two of these books are available on Amazon Kindle, so if I really miss them I can always download them and take them with me.  I doubt I will be though, because there are so many new books I want to read.